Gratitude goes both ways. ..

I had a client yesterday who came to me feeling broken, frustrated, and didnt know what to do with his current situation. I wont go into the details but I do want share his kind note he sent me a few hours after he left. 

Thank you so much for the wonderful experience today. You are very accommodating and welcoming and understanding. The world needs more people like you. I look forward to our next opportunity to meet

It makes me feel good to know that I help people. I genuinely like giving people an outlet to be, do, explore, experience the things n stuff they want to experience in kink and fetish activities that they can not otherwise explore alone.  

Cheers and happy tuesday kinky peeps!

Stay healthy, pervy and enjoy today. 

The Mistress Noir

Helping a New Domme find her Confidence

So a new domme asked for some advice on Reddit.... This was my reply -

Girlfriend you got this... you know what makes the man tick, you are discovering what kinks BOTH of you seem to share. Unfortunately, there is no real "cliff notes/cheatsheat" on "How to become a Fabulous Domme in 3 mistakes or less". I can almost guarantee what you are feeling currently is your lack of actual experience in the dominant "role". But you actually exhibit all the makings of a great Domme. Take your bartending skillsets, your submissive experience, and you have what it it's going take to make the most of the opportunity you have with the dude you are exploring your Domina role with. It's ok to be a green Domme, as long as you understand being a newbie isnt an excuse for you to be a bad Domme. I think it's cool when two people can trust the journey and walk the path together learning as they explore. I'm a pro-domme with over 13 years of experience. I shutter when I remember the days in the beginning. I knew NOTHING other than Penthouse Variations. Girl I didnt even believe the stories were about real people, then the Internet came around and that opened up BDSM for EVERYONE. If I can give you some practical application advice in these 10 tips ... 1. A new Domme needs to find peace in her position meaning dont give away your power because you dont know what you dont know. 2. Confidence will carry you every time - but remain humble. Being dominant doesnt = being a bitch. There is a place and time for the bitchy Domme persona, but you can absolutely be sweet and feminine and dominant. 3. I rarely wear my thigh boots but with that said you must own a pair of thigh boots, if you are gonna be a Domme. Why? Because there is not one woman I know who didnt Domme "up" as she laces or zips up a pair of thigh boots. If you own a pair you will understand what I mean. But, rest assured I can dominate anybody in my lady bug house slippers. 🐞True story. 4. If you need confidence in the beginning invest in a well made corset, or latex catsuit, and thigh boots. Even if you know nothing you will look the part which helps create the confidence. 5. Give yourself permission to be human and tell your sub you will make mistakes. It's how you handle your shortcomings and fuck ups that will either build your subs trust in you or break it. 6. Sometimes, ok alot times Dommes will drink their own bullshit koolaid, stay away from the koolaid.... respect, being kind, not thinking you are better than a submissive is important. We are not 7. Reflect on your own submissive experiences, identify who you looked up too as far as Doms go in your submissive adventures. Why did you enjoy the Doms you did and what didnt you like about Doms you have interacted with. (Believe or not I think have the battle of becoming a good Domme is realizing the intellectual or mental aspect of what you do. You cant take someone on journey if you have never been yourself. Metaphorically... for example until someone tied me up, when I tied people up I was going thru the motions. After experiencing it I was able to invest the mental and intangibles of being restrained when I restrained others. 8. Learn the chemical aspects of BDSM. I truly believe most of us are engaging in the kinks and play that we do for the chemistry the acts release. Sub high / Dom high totally a real thing. We all get something from the stuff we are doing regardless of which side you are on. Endorphin loading is something we all do consciously or unconsciously. The more you understand what chemicals the body produces based off the activity you are engaging in the better Domme you will become. 9. Find out if your local kink community has workshops or groups that are for Dominant females, attend them and get involved. You will find a safe place, maybe a mentor that you can learn from and they will give you confidence. 10. Dont kill anyone, getting rid of a dead body... totally harder than t.v. makes it look like. Acid, lye, pigs, saws, and plastic wrap is hard to come by on short notice (this is me being cheeky) Its a good idea to if only to yourself determine your hard limits sooner vs later. Believe me when I say bad shit can happen, and sometimes "oops it was an Accident" will not keep your ass outa prison. I personally have had 2 very seriously fucked things happen in my career, that could have ended badly for all. 9. If you are doing risky shit never never have you submissive sign a "waiver" and you dont sign one either. It will work against you in a court of law. Waivers are different than contracts. Let's say you are going to do a consent non consent scene and there are risks involved. Just because someone signs a piece of paper saying they have been informed of the risks and the dont hold you responsible, that piece of paper will actually seal your fate if something goes amuck. Every state could be different but I have an attorney, live in Az and he advised me when I started never sign waivers they wont protect you standing in front of judge if you hurt someone bad enough you are standing in court for it. 10. Remember this is all interactive. If you are not getting what you want out of a D/s dynamic fix it. It's also important that the submissive get what they want. My biggest tip is communication and and the ability to read and hear a person's verbal and non verbal communication language is super important, because as the Dominant you are "in charge". Assuming gets me in trouble more than it doesnt with submissives. You are a bartender and I have to believe you have hones your bullshit radar. Submissives will suck the life from you if you let them, so dont. 

R U A panty boy(i)?

Lol...

More lol...

Mistress Noir likes a sexy panty boy(i)!

Mistress Noir bringing up the tail end here 🤣

Goal: Fist up his Butt (aka asspussy)

I have a slave who indirectly found me thru my dear friend Miss Fortunes, Holly. I guess they worked together, and when she went full time Dominatrix, he sought her out. Fast forward to present... he comes to me still wearing a chastity cage locked on by his last mistress who had dismisses him several months ago. Hmmmm, after the 1st session, I realize I might have found a rare rainbow unicorn. My thoughts immediately turned into contemplation of how Miss Fortunes managed to scoop up all the rainbow unicorns and they followed her loyally until her death Nov. 2016.  Before my "jelly" gets too far, I regroup and realize  I must be grateful. I remind myself how blessed I've been for the unicorns that have found their way to me after her passing. This slave has done the same. But something is different with this slave, he wants to be owned. (If any of you could guess how many time I've heard this come out of mens mouths, you'd be shocked at the number!) The curious george in me perks up and pays attn. Owned... he says. Things that make me go hmmmm. Could this unicorn be "the one"? Well, we shall see. To make it easy we'll call slave in consideration >rainbow unicorn =🦄 Less finger work typing if I can use an emoji 🦄!

Anyways this is what 🦄 said this morning after yesterday's progress report session, and releasing his dick from the cage his last mistress released him with it still on. 

I received this nice little text referring to his time he was here yesterday. 

Good morning Ms N, My body is still surging with your energy. My pussy is sensitive and my leg muscles ache. Last night I played with my pussy, caressing it, and applying lotion. Cock is still flaccid. My pussy wants more cock and bigger. The memory of being vulnerable,  ass in the air, and stuffed FULL is amazing.

He seems to enjoy the idea of a loose asshole ultimately... and my fist up his ass.  Yesterday, he had made great progress and my hand was knuckles deep. He will see me again this month and it's my goal to get my entire fist in his slave pussy... he also talks about castration! 🤣 be careful what you wish for 🦄! Me being the fetish fairygodmother and all I've been known to make fetish wishes cum true. Oh yes and he brought me a lovely birthday gift ... A beautiful Bulova Diamond Watch. Even though I'm not a fan of wearing a watch, the gesture was pure, thoughtful, and appropriate for this stage in our D/s relationship. Term used loosely... It's a rare opportunity to catch me thinking beyond a session with a client but one never knows when they will find their perfect 🦄. We'll have to all wait and see where this goes. 

Thank you girlfriend, even from the other side you still are looking out for me. Some of the best boys who come see me , found their way to me because of you, Holly. I miss you being here in the land of the living. But I feel your spirit, when things like this happen. 

Gemini...

It's my birthday month... 

🍾🎂🍾

Yes Mistress likes cake!